New Moon

New Moon is the best example of a critic-proof film that I can think of. No matter what we pundits say, countless teenage girls and their mothers will flock to it several times, earning it hundreds of millions of dollars on opening weekend. Not only that, but all those girls who already bought their Team Edward T-shirts will find themselves switching over and purchasing the Team Jacob editions.

So it’s utterly pointless to comment on the quality of the film. It’s viewers simply don’t care. It doesn’t matter to them that the special effects are extraordinarily cheesy—that the first were wolf appearance looks like something in a third rate haunted house, or that some of the sets appear to have been designed by a high school prom committee. Even the most rabid fans will groan when they notice that the first shots of Edward show him back-lit, walking in glorious slow motion, sardonic smile curling his supple lips. Devotees will hardly notice that the whole Italian Volturi subplot has been given a backseat to moping, sighing, and angst-ridden actions of Bella (Kristen Stewart). For heavens sake, will that girl ever be directed to smile, lighten up or laugh?  All that inner torment is getting tiresome.

Especially when one as delectable as Jacob (Taylor Lautner) does his damndest to cheer her up. As much as Twilighters love Edward (Robert Patterson), this really is Jacob’s film—it was Jacob’s book as well. But perhaps because of the Edward fan furor, filmmakers shied away from making his defection look convincing. Bella seems to be the only one who believes it, and even her anguish over it comes off as a bit superficial. I will say one thing for the film, however: the ending rocks! Of course it’s shamelessly contrived to leave viewers panting for the next installment. That fever-pitch anticipation is one of  the best things the franchise has going for it.