OK... let's get a confession out of the way right from the start.  I'm a guy who's one of those rare breed of brave, confident... and yes, humble, secure men who's unabashed to say I'm a true romantic at heart.

      Indeed, I'm a willing and unashamed sap for literally buying into all the romantic accoutrements and sentiment that comes with the feeling and fantasy of falling... and being in love.  Regaling beautiful women with roses, sumptuous chocolate, candlelit dinners and moonlit walks on a beach... and more are an expected and embraced part of the dance of romance.

      Hey, don't judge me !  After all, there are worse qualities for us men to cop to.  

      That in mind... after screening the new film, "Valentine's Day",  I left the theater feeling fairly entertained by the film and even believing it was a good and funny film as well.

       Unfortunately, like over-indulging a good tasting box of Valentine's Day chocolates... after awhile, you realize the feeling you have afterwards isn't as sweet... or as enjoyable as you thought at first.  That's the case with the new film, appropriately titled "Valentine's Day".

      This jam packed, star-studded romantic comedy film by Garry Marshall has all the glitter and variety of Forrest Gump's proverbial "box of chocolates" in the guise of including almost every top actor on the A-List in Hollywood within it's cast... albeit, with a few B-listers thrown in, to even the playing field.

      However, stacking the deck with over a dozen big name stars may look good on the theater poster... and in the movie trailer; but, it doesn't mean this top heavy cast can carry a weak script full of cliched story lines.   The screenplay is a hodge-podge of intertwining storylines and budding relationships aimed at tugging at the heartstrings.  

      The main anchor of the story seems to center on Ashton Kutcher as a florist who pops the wedding question to his live-in girlfriend, Jessica Alba... who despite weakly accepting his proposal, eventually has doubts... and even later, she seems to second guess those original doubts.  Meanwhile, his best friend ( no, not Julia Roberts... that's another movie ) is played by Jennifer Garner. 

      Garner plays a sweet ( what else ? ) elementary school teacher who pines away blissfully and cluelessly for "Dr. McDreamy"... er, I mean, actor Patrick Dempsey of TV's "Grey's Anatomy".  Dempsey plays, yes... you guessed it - a doctor... who, guess again ?  ... is playing both ends against middle as a two-timing husband and family man who's cheating with Garner, who thinks he's free, available and totally in love with her.

      Note to Dempsey, the actor... when you're playing a romantically conflicted doctor on a hit TV show... it might be a good idea to try something different when you get a big screen role.

      Then there's Anne Hathaway playing a struggling office assistant who moonlights 24/7 it seems from her cell phone as a phone sex surrogate... while starting a promising relationship with mail room clerk, Topher Grace... who has no idea of Anne's sexy supplemental income gig. 

      Meanwhile, Jessica Biel portrays the publicist to a troubled pro-football player,  trying to decide his professional future... and more, after a loss in the playoffs.  Biel's character is another of the cliched few... wistfully lamenting her singleness on Valentines' Day... planning an anti-Valentines Day party that seems to be headed for disaster with no RSVP's the day of the bash.

      Another storyline has Julia Roberts as an Army officer returning home for a one-day leave to see the love of her life.... while sitting next to a handsome fellow airline passenger portrayed by Bradley Cooper.  These two exchange coy flirtations and small talk about one another during their cramped flight... leading one to the expectation sparks will eventually fly between them in the cockpit... while they fly in the air en route to Los Angeles.

     Meanwhile, we've got Jamie Foxx playing a TV sportscaster who "wants to be taken seriously".... seriously ?  Foxx is mortified that his news director boss played by Kathy Bates, wants him to do a fluff story on Valentine's Day.   We're expected to actually believe this Los Angeles sportscaster would rather cover some hard-hitting "real news"... rather than cover the fluff story of the day, Valentines' Day.

... just another example of realism being thrown out the window in this fluff story of a film.  

... and, that is Foxx's character primary function in this film, at least until the film's final act... where romance hits him out of the blue.

      Film veterans Shirley MacLaine and Hector Elizondo are added to the mix as an older married couple who are celebrating years of unbridled and monogamous bliss.... except, Shirley's got a little unromantic secret to confess to Hector on this most romantic of days.

      Finally, just when we've seen just about every age demographic represented here... and a few others I won't reveal for fear of ruining some secret surprises in the film... we get the then real life coupling of Taylor Swift and "New Moon" hunkazoid, Taylor Lautner. 

      Reportedly, the two Taylors began their off-screen coupling while shooting this film... though it's hard to see how their roles contributed to this real life chemistry.  The singing Taylor plays a pretty, but spazzy and dumb "cheerleader" type who's dim bulb brightens every time her boyfriend, the non-werewolfy Taylor "number two" joins her in the scene for some teen love silliness.  

      Note to "New Moon" fans - Lautner keeps his shirt on this time... but, the script calls for him to make a lame reference to that fact.  You'll just have to wait for "Eclipse" to debut for another glimpse of Lautner's lupine beefcake.

      Giving the teen set even more to cringe over is a minor subplot between Emma Roberts and Carter Jenkins... but then again, isn't this whole movie filled with minor subplots ?  Anyway, Roberts and Jenkins play two high school seniors who plan to consummate their relationship before they part their separate ways to go to college. 

     Wait, is this film called "Valentines' Day" or "American Pie" ?

     Throw in one MORE subplot involving a young boy wanting to get his school sweetheart a dozen red roses for Valentine's Day... and you have the entire "two-hour plus"  mish-mosh of tangled and intertwining webs director Garry Marshall has woven into this syrupy concoction.

     Now before you think I'm hating this film altogether... there are some good points.   A few of the separate plot lines do have some surprisingly unexpected resolutions and the relationships don't always turn out as expected.  The story involving Kutcher, Garner and Alba is given the most time to develop and actually makes some realistic sense... especially Garner and Kutcher's intentionally awkward final scene together.  

      Anything involving Hector Elizondo and Shirley MacLaine is always worth watching.  These are two acting pros are able to make the most... out of the most lean of script material.  

      Also, be sure to stay through the closing credits for some enjoyable bloopers by this all star cast... including a fun comment by Julia Roberts referencing her "Pretty Woman" days.

      Sadly, comic George Lopez who is given some significant screen time in the Kutcher / Garner storyline... is given little meaty material to work with.  It would be nice to see Lopez get a role that calls for him to be more than comic relief delivering Chicano-tinged one liners.  I think he's capable of much more... certainly his own separate storyline in this film.  

      After all... it's Los Angeles, people !   Director Garry Marshall covered every other demographic in this film

... Where's the latino love in the city named by latinos... overwhelmingly populated by latinos ?

    Well... we do get a pinata at the end.

    The main problem with "Valentine's Day" the film is that it's spread far too thinly.  There are far too many stories in this mix that prevent audiences from getting to really know or invest in any of the characters, their personalities... or even care about their relationships.  The film would have been served far better by lesser "star power"... less story lines... and far more intimacy in the fewer storylines that would have remained.

    "Valentine's Day" isn't an awful film.  The romantic in me found something touching or funny here and there that prevents me from giving it the total kiss of death.  However, it pales in the inevitable comparison to a far superior film with a very similar structure and storyline, "Love Actually".

     My recommendation is take your date to see "Valentine's Day" if that's what they truly desire.

     But, if you really, really love them with all your heart... watch "Love Actually" instead.

       For more info about TV entertainment reporter / film critic, Tim Estiloz visit : www.Examiner.com and video reviews at Boston Latino TV : http://bostonlatino.tv/ - Visit Tim's website at : www.TimEstiloz.com